i am a professional, not a dog

Well, like stated in the title, I am a professional, not a dog, so treat me the way I should be treated. Don't expect a dog to lick your palm and wag its tail at you when the first thing you did to it was shouting at it. I am not saying that I am a dog but even a dog would fear that. I was complained by a customer that I was unfriendly to her. How unfair! The first thing she did to me when I first encountered her was raising her voice at me just cos I didn't give her special treatment. Hello, everyone demands my attention and the best price and I am trying so hard to please the customers and I also have to answer to my boss. Customers...are hard-to-handled creatures. Everytime I see or hear her brother's name, I literally quiver in fear and dread the time to meet her. Cos I fear for her lashing like before. She's rude to me, so why should I be nice to her? Tell me?? Why can't they just accept that drug prices will increase too eventually? Even the sugar price and oil increase. Why they don't go shouting around the restaurant for being charged a high price? RM10 of drugs taken in a day compared to RM20/meal at a restaurant? And I am giving a professional service. How do you expect me to split myself when I was bombarded by 3 questions by 3 different people at the same time I was looking up for your BEST price at the computer?? How would you choose who to answer first? Just because I was distracted by your BEST price at the computer and was just 1 second later in answering your friend's stupid question (compared to my staff's question of which pseudoephedrine drug did the customer take just now to be recorded in the book before I forgot) 'why is the packaging different from Singapore, are they the same drug but with the same name?', didn't mean that I deserve a FEW knocks on the table demanding my attention 'eh eh my friend asking you a question, why didn't you answer first?' Seriously everyone is demanding my attention and answers at the same time, then who attend to me when I faint over overusage of brain cells in answering your stupid questions? I have only 1 mouth. Just because you are a consumer, doesn't mean that you have the right to ride over my head and always ask for discounts when our drugs are already half the price than yours after conversion. I can actually deny selling you the drugs, asshole bitch!

something he can live without..

WHAT THE FUCK MAN!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! That was something he said!!!! Bloody Kelvin said that not seeing me or talking to me is something he can live without!! MOTHERFUCKER!! If he has realized it earlier isn't it a lot easier for the both of us?! WHY NOW???

I was just saying the truth that it was like he could die not playing DOTA with PCK just for a night, it was already hard for us to meet not to mention that to talk properly. Ya, we are not like normal couple who talk through phone for hours. Other than handphone is harmful to our health, I just don't think phone can convey what I really mean without seeing it and hearing it at the same time. It's just different. Now that I am leaving soon and won't be around for 3 weeks (ya, not a big deal, really) but I am trying to utilize the little time we really have for each other to the max. I am already trying to chat and play game or watch movie at the same time, this is a tough multi-tasking for me, having to pause the movie every now and then. But then someone can just leave the whole chat and go play DOTA without informing me.

I was happily talking away about my friend's boyfriend doing PhD in US and that she might go join him there in 1-2 years time and then that I wish that I could do the same as in going overseas and stay there. Just sharing my dream. I was just about to ask him when we are free we should really head to KL for a bit to visit my cousin brother during one weekend and stuff. But before I even finished the first topic, he was already silent. Crap!

Seriously why now!? I am something he can live without? Ok, maybe he meant it simpler that not seeing me is something he can live without. FINE!!! We have done so many things together, achieved so much and now only he said it? WTF!! Should have said it earlier right? KANASAI!

PRP vs FRP

So what happened was a PRP 'attacked' me verbally while I was talking calmly to her. I was kind enough to talk to her, to ask her on Thursday if there was any problem with her work cos I heard quite a few unfriendly comments about her attitude. Well I just started by saying that her attitude was a bit off and if there was anything wrong with her work and asked if she had informed anyone regarding her absence on Monday and Wednesday. If she has another role to play other than doing UOD/DDA that week I wouldn't give a damn of her whereabouts. But Monday and Wednesday are the busiest day for UOD PRP as Wei Jie, the E2S pharmacist isn't around to help screen his ward. Ok basically everyday is a busy day for UOD PRP. So nobody knew about her whereabouts and I had to look for a replacement for her told cos the person she asked to countersign her leave happened to be in satellite. And that was her second mistake, asking a satellite PRP to sign her leave. Satellite is already short of hand so we try not to disturb the balance. Then her ultimate mistake was not informing us, FRPs, she claimed she informed the PRP which was not sufficient. She also claimed she informed Pn Lim who apparently didn't bother to mention that to us. When I confronted her about this she started saying that it was my own opinion that her attitude was off cos she apparently got quite a lot of good comments at other departments. And there was a reason why she didn't like IPD cos the environment was hostile and that we were not friendly be it FRPs and PPFs. I asked how? She said when she asked a question to the PPF, they answered her in a way that made her feel stupid. Then she started giving me ideas to improve our environment and she hate it here, not only her, all other PRPs as well maybe minus the Chinese. She said I shouldn't judge her by colour in another word she meant that I was racist, just cos I was seen closer with Shin Gie and other Chinese PRPs from IMU. She asked if it was wrong to take off cos it was her right to take off and I couldnt stop her. Well, I think she just hasn't gone to induksi yet. I told her she could take but have to consult the timetable first and inform us so that we could make some changes in advanced cos other PRPs has other job to do too. In the end, just because they have to cover her UOD, their chances of hitting the requirement of their logbook reduced. She claimed that she has already applied her leave earlier and that time the timetable hadn't come out yet. I knew it was a month earlier and our timetable was out 2 months back. Then she claimed that it was already her 4th week of UOD. I said so what? She still made mistakes, simple ones such as changing the CMR bed number. She said I would have mistakes too if I were like her rotating to other departments before going back to IPD, 4weeks were not enough. I said no 1week was enough for me to do UOD without simple mistakes. She was quite taken aback by what I said. Yes I'm confident in what I do. So she started crying and claimed that I judged her by colour. Zzz sorry I scold everyone who makes mistakes. I proceeded with her 4th mistake which was to push her job to someone else and never followed till the end. There was a case earlier about calculating the dose of inferon, she did the calculation but passed it to Pn Lim who didn't know a thing to reply to the doctor while she went off to lunch with the excuse that she had to go for ward check later. And apparently Pn Lim told the HO that the test dose for inferon was 2ml when it was 0.5ml. The MO/specialist called and I answered the call and had to look for excuses to cover her ass. And there I was being labeled as racist.

Then yesterday she ignored my advice. After screening w4s till 12.15pm, she just dropped the file on the trolley and walked off without saying a word. I saw her telling Nasoha something and then left by the front door. I was quite surprised and asked Nasoha what she said. She claimed that Priya just asked her to do her trolley for her. I was mad of course. I asked her to call Priya to come back and do the trolley be it she was off in the afternoon or she went to lunch. That's the rule. Everyone has to clear the trolleys together before can go for lunch,especially the PRP doing UOD. She hung Nasoha's call halfway and then 1minute later she stormed into IPD and demanded why was I creating so much problem to her. I was quite taken aback by the attack cos I haven't even started saying anything and she already lashed out at me. Everyone was there and witnessed the whole drama unfold. I replied calmly nope, I wasn't creating any problem for her. Then she asked why I asked for her? I said that she didn't finish her work and left without telling a soul, which was the first mistake and it came to not respecting us her senior. She retaliated by saying she did tell Pn Lim and if it was a must to tell THE WHOLE WORLD that she was going off, as it was her auto-off since she had to work 5-10pm. I said be it 5-10 shift auto-off or applied time-off or lunch, she still had to stay back if there was no valid reason for her to be excused and she had to inform any of us, FRP or PPF if she was not comfortable with us, she could inform the PRP. She kept insisting she told Pn Lim, the boss of IPD. I said Pn Lim didn't inform us (and FYI, a lot of people saw her walking out of IPD with Pn Lim smiling away about something and this showed that Pn Lim was with her and she expected Pn Lim to inform us) and my boss was Cik Siti. How dare her. Her answer was simply cos she couldn't find Cik Siti. I said then she should inform me as I was the one in-charge of UOD and counseling, so I should be informed of the whereabouts of the UOD PRP and made sure that all trolleys were out of IPD in time. She said it was our mistake and attitude that made her hate to stay in IPD, we were all hostile and unfriendly towards her and all other PRPs. Imagine she said this in front of everyone. She continued with she passed her work to the lunchcall, that was the job of lunch call (to finish her shit for her). I said no, it should be her job cos she was the one who screened the ward and also the only who could understand perfectly what she screened to reduce the workload. I screened E2S and I filled the trolleys myself, I went out for lunch late, I didn't even complained and I never pushed my job to anyone cos only I understood what I screened. She retaliated by saying that last time Tracy left the UOD trolley for her to do as well and went off to lunch, how could she do that while she couldn't do it now. In another word, she meant I was biased and racist. I said during that rotation I haven't come back yet and if I were back here, I wouldn't let any of it happen. She could ask any of the PRPs, I never let any of them go before we cleared all the trolleys. And we all know Tracy, she wouldn't do that. Then she said why couldn't anyone just finish her job for her, like I said, only she could understand what she did. Then I brought up the mistakes about her not changing the CMR number then there was a PS left unattended. I went forward to look for the PS and that was when Tim came out of the pantry looking for a fight and started shouting at her saying that she shouldn't be so rude to me and so defensive of herself and she should admit her mistake. I was shocked at Tim's reaction, I was half thankful that she came out cos I was on the verge of raising my voice. I calmed down and shoved Tim back into the pantry. Priya shouted back at Tim asking who she was? Saying that she has no right to scold her. Then she turned to me and demanded that Tim apologized to her for scolding her and said that she has no right to scold her. I replied yes rank wise she didn't but experience wise she did have the altitude of scolding her. She still demanded for an apology. Knowing Tim, she wouldn't give in so I apologized on her behalf. She still insisted and stood outside the pantry and then she started crying. Tears again. I never knew tears were so strong. I tried to shoo her by apologizing of Tim's behalf. The drama was 15 minutes long and everyone was actually waiting for the farewell feast for Xin Hui to start and thus saw everything. I had to shoo her by telling her that I would scold Tim later. She didn't want to budge. Cik Siti came in, and shouted at her asking her to go, she was not welcomed. Another shock. My first time seeing Cik Siti shouted for being so angry at someone. Well, happy or not, she had to leave.

So that was one unforgettable farewell for Xin Hui. Later in the day, there was news saying that Priya went to see Dr Siti and they are speculating that I would be called to answer. Everyone soothed me by saying I was not wrong, nothing to worry. I hope so, finger-crossed.

I just feel unjustified for being labeled as biased and racist. Not only that, I just feel sad cos I have done so many things for them, but they don't appreciate what I do, instead I was lashed out and not respected.

PRP liberalization..boon or bane

This July, new PRPs are allowed to train in private sectors-industry, retail and private hospitals. Yup, new fresh graduates PRPs, not 1st year FRP or those who have finished serving the government. This is the latest decision made by government regarding my profession.

One comment: This decision regarding my profession just kills the professionalism in my profession.

I just don't understand how the government could make such rash and irresponsible decision. Did they foresee the outcome? It will be exactly the same disaster as the decision the made back in 2003 about retaining us in the government for 4 years. Within 8 years, they just suddenly changed the plan to 1+1. It was really too sudden for some to adapt, people like me, who haven't really decided whether to leave or to stay and plan to think about it after 4 years. And so sudden is the change that it makes things worse for my career and my salary in the private.

What makes the whole thing even worse is the liberalization of the PRP into private. The reason is to balance the amount of pharmacists in the private and government. Some speculated that the real reason is government is going broke. Why not? With all the things that are being said and seen out there, one wouldn't be surprised at all.

Anyway, there are a few criteria for the PRPs to practise in private as well as for the private which want to apply for PRP to fulfill. One, the preceptor has to have 4 years experience, I'm not sure if 4 years experience as a Pharmacist or it's the amount of years the Pharmacy has been set up. Two, the basic salary of the PRP must not be less than RM2400. So the advantages said by the government are that the PRP placement will be recognized, to overcome the shortage of RPh, FRP is to be retained for additional year in the same setting after completing PRP and the PRP will be a licensed Pharmacist in the 2nd year (1st year FRP). One more thing, JPA scholars can apply to go into private and have to be in the same setting for 6 years and the term is changed to serving the nation, no longer serving the government. PRPs in the private are allowed to be attached in government hospital for clinical practice for 4-12 weeks, depending on the willingness of their employer, FOR FREE (salary still paid by their employers).

So, is it bane or boon to liberalize the PRPs? What will happen to our future? Especially with the growing trend of Cosway.

urgh!!!

Urgh!!! I just had a two-day quarrel with Kelvin. Over a bitch! Damn dulan! I told him damn freaking many times d I don't like him to go out with her alone. OK not even in a group! I just don't like! And imagine that I just came back from a road trip with her. Urgh!! During the trip, I just felt sooooo self-conscious that I didn't even dare to hold onto Kelvin's hand. Why!? Cos I felt like a third party for splitting the two of them up! And I even caught the two of them taking pictures together! Not that I am against them two taking picture together but I AM AGAINST THEM TAKING PICTURE WITH KELVIN'S HAND ON HER WAIST!!! That's not called BUDDY!! My ASS!! As a girl, and still single, you should know to stay clear and what you should do and shouldn't at the presence of the girlfriend! I didn't see her do that to PCK even though his gf was not there and PCK also didn't do that to her. They were not even touching. I shudder to think what could have happened behind me. Then I guessed it that she would ask Kelvin out on these two days! And it turned out to be true. She asked him out to CC yesterday! Till 1am! And I thought hanging out at CC was our thing and now it has become not-our-thing anymore. Of course I am angry, sad, jealous and frustrated! Cos he sounded so happy to go to CC with her. It just makes me feel that I can't fulfill his needs till he has to find someone else to fulfill it. As a single girl, she shouldn't have asked Kelvin out alone too. It's as if she just didn't care that he's already attached. It makes me think that she's trying to get her hands on him. Kelvin kept saying that they were friends and asked me why I don't see a guy and a girl being close friends. Of course a girl and a guy can be close friends if either the guy is a gay or the girl is lesbian. And today, ok it was my fault to accused him for lying about his working time till 7pm but the FriendFinder said he was at Taman Bukit Teh so of course I would have suspected, right! After all those reasoning and thinking trying to point out my view subtly without saying that she's a bitch, I feel pathetic with myself. For bringing myself so low, lacing every sentence with apology when Kelvin should apologize too for making me feel unsecured and threatened but he just didn't care. And what hurt me most was he said apologize also no use and that I was not sincere at all. FINE with me! Me being this weak and threatened makes me want to puke. I feel sooo disgusted and pathetic of myself. Like mom said, what's mine is mine, what's not will never be mine. And what has been done, cannot be undone, we will just have to prevent it in the future.

oh..i'm sooooo frustrated!!! ultra dulan now

What happened today just raised my goosebumps for its resemblance to the incident 3 weeks ago, the fateful day when my car plates went missing. Today, the first incident that pissed me off was my PPF who didn't want to supply Inj Midazolam to the A&E floorstock in the evening. I was like what the fuck! It has been your job since god knows how long, to supply the stocks, be it DDA or normal drugs all the way to Group C drugs, during off-office hour aka ONCALL!! Don't give lame excuses that you are not supposed to touch the DDA and asked the MA to call me to go to the hospital to supply to them. It's your job and I don't even get paid doing ONCALL, but YOU ARE! So just fucking shut up and do your job like you used to before I came to be your boss-from-hell!

Then, my friend gave me a good news that we, FRPs, are allowed to apply for 1+1 too! And we can actually leave the government now after we complete 1 year FRP. BUT it's only applicable to those FRPs registered in 2011 and non-JPA-scholars! FUCK!! I was registered in 2010. She totally crushed my hope after lifting it to the height of KLCC. Urgh!! Being someone who comes out later compared to the other elites, my job opportunities will be very very low by the time I completed my 3 years compulsory service as the outside world will be congested with them. Who am I to fight with them? My results suck BIG time, my knowledge is near to nil, my experience? Don't mention it. I know nothing practically, aside from ordering my PPF to work their ass off. Haih.. not to mention that my dream to own a house before settling down will be even more far-fetched by then. If I could go to Singapore earlier or any other more lucrative resources, I would be a step nearer to my dream-own a house, live in a better and comfortable home and offer a place for my parents to crash, if they want to visit me or Singapore. What a dream-crasher. Just that 'FRP yang didaftarkan pada tahun 2011' diminished half of my hope.

So, I thought I could maple a bit to release my pent-up anger and frustration. But the connection just disappointed me BIG TIME! I was papu-ing and there was only 5% more of its Hp left and I could have finished it in 1 minute but the connection was down to 0.00 kbps and I disconnected. WHOA! Should have seen my anger and frustration eating me inside out, almost-wanted-to-flip-the-table kind of feeling. I just needed 15% to level but the connection just didn't allow me. Geram!!!!

STRESSED!!!!!

Urgh!! I just hope that nothing happens to me or my car tomorrow.

I'd better chant more of Amitabha before I sleep. I don't want to sleep angry and frustrated.

hiyeak!!!

*Namo Amitabha Namo Kun Sei Yum Poh Sat Om Mani Pehn Meh Hom*

woke up on the wrong side of bed

Haih.. yesterday could be said the darkest day of this year. First thing in the morning, as usual, my PPF would piss me off. I wrote to give 5 ampoules of Inj Metoclopramide, she gave 2 ampoules, 9 ampoules of Inj Ranitidine, she gave 15 ampoules. Damn pissed off. I have repeated a lot of times that ALL injections are to be given 3 days supply for new prescription and she thought only applicable to antibiotic. Damn dulan lor.. she has worked for more than 10 years and still she makes mistakes.

In the morning, I was browsing through AirAsia due to the so-called AA fever, just to fantasize about the places I could have gone. Bangkok, Phuket have cheap flights and so I asked Cheng Yuen to go with me since Kelvin was not interested. By the time, she checked it near lunch, it was quite hard to barge in and then when we all succeeded, no more cheap flights liao. Then mom called to ask me book for 8 people to Sabah September next year. Haih.. she loves big group and I dislike big group. HK trip was a lesson, it was not easy to handle 10 ppl for a backpacking with lots of walking trip. The details for the 8 people were not even complete by 5pm and my cousin sister told me she would give me the IC today because she wanted to add one more friend to go. And the tickets were selling fast. At 7pm, I didn't wait for her and I booked for 8 first to go on the 2nd week of Sept. I was already at the last step to pay and when I tried to pay, an error occurred. Ugh!! It was already so hard to get in and now this. I gave up!

I went to clean myself and when I was ready to barge in again, my connection died on me. Something about it could not connect to my remote pc and the port was closed. I was sooo frustrated, tried a lot of troubleshooters and even googled for solution with my iPhone but to no avail. By 10pm, I called the Celcom careline and the girl taught me to switch my network connection between 2G and 3G from time to time. It was freaking slow yesterday, even a snail could win. Lucky that GWKPQ was cancelled.

Later I was quite frustrated also when I couldn't find the black piece of thing to stick up my fringe cos I needed to clean my face. Looked everywhere but it was hidden in my blanket, stuck to it, found it by 3am.

Once my connection recovered, I logged in Maple and guessed what! I was demoted to a normal member in my guild!! WTF~!! Ok la, not that I am very active but still I am one of the few who stay the longest in the guild, though I didn't contribute much other than bossing here and there and chatting about the weather. Haih.. I was a bit letdown seriously. But I understand why Ion did that. All thanks to a char called San. He was demoted due to his attitude for abusing his power and he complained that some Jr (aka me) was not active also. So, Ion demoted everyone and now helping me to get back to my rank little by little to shut San's mouth.

And the ULTIMATE black dot of the day was I woke up to a car with the regustration number stolen. I was shocked! I thought it was not my car but everything inside indicated it was including the gash on the windscreen. I was about to be late for work, if I even spent an extra minute crouching checking the ground for my lost number plates. So after confirming that both front and back car plate were no longer in sight, I just sped all the work, trembling inside I have to admit, but no matter what, I could not show my fear. People must have stared at my car and wondered if mine was a stolen car. LOL!! Unfortunately, Azizah and Gan were off today but lucky me that the MA Koh just got off work and he was willing to accompany me to the police station. Oh, the process was tedious, the officers kinda took her own sweet time to jot down every single thing. The computer was not working so in the end the report I got was handwritten. The officers said there was never any report on stolen registration number it was the first and asked if I suspected any foul play. OF COURSE I DID!! Me being so strict at work, I could easily bring up a few people who hate me to the max. I just shut up of course. Even the guy who made my new number plate said it was weird and he had never heard anyone's number plate being stolen before, if people were to do crime, they could just make a new number plate why bother to steal one? I jokingly said they might stole a new Myvi from the Perodua centre in front of my house and put my plate number on it. Haih,. I really hope that it was just a prank and not to use my car registration number to do crime. Maybe it just caught their eyes cos the number was a Perak plate. AFT 7318. What I fear is that, they might have targeted me and stealing a plate number might just be a warning, next they might break into my house and do something to me, I fear for my safety. Now that I thought I could come to trust the little town Mersing but this thing happened, I can't wait to get out of there. It just killed my mood to work there.

the front

the ass

up close ass

up close front..somehow it just doesn't want to rotate

argh!! i'm stressed out!!

Came back from a talk about the UOD setting and there's a need of a permanent PPF at the back at IPD. I have brought this up a few times as the every-month-rotation is not doing any good for the PPF and also they are not efficient and always make mistakes. I brought this a few times to attention and the stupid reasons they gave me were that they would not be familiar with the drugs arrangement when they oncall and they disliked staying too long either in IPD or OPD cos to them IPD was like a pit-stop after 3 months of stress in OPD. ASS!! I am the head of the department! Why aren't they listening to my orders!? Grr...

My boss always said ya ya should put a permanent PPF at IPD and when I said I wanted Mar, a very efficient PPF, she would say no and said to give me Tik or Ruzaita. Hello?! There are 2 cream PPF, why can't she just give me one and then be settled with one? Why can't everyone be fair to me?! There are a total of 4 PPF in OPD and they could always counter-check each other no matter how terrible they are and now with an extra pharmacist there, I don't see any problems with OPD at all. Meanwhile, there's only 1 PPF at IPD with me. No one will counter-check if either of us on leave right? Seriously to everyone, IPD is like soooo free and nothing to do and it's a total heaven. Therefore, it's neglected. URGH!! And even the new pharmacist wants to put a leg in and said no to me getting the good PPF. GET LOST! You have no right to speak your mind! URGH URGH!!

The current PPF at IPD is lazy, stupid and slow. Errors everywhere.. She wouldn't even care about the labels on the shelves dropping or not. If you see it drop, then just stick it back ler..is it soooo difficult for you who's only 2 months pregnant? Oh GET A LIFE!!

I am trying to optimize my service in IPD in my hospital, but noone seems to care. I am trying hard to close one eye and tell myself that I am going to leave soon.... tahan tahan.. But when is 'soon'?

my hope..smashed, crushed into powder

ARGH!! MASS DISLIKES!!! Geramnya aku!!! The fucking clerk at the admin told me last week that Pengarah had signed my transfer application form and it had been sent out long time ago. I confirmed it twice and she said yes! Then today when Azizah told me that the clerk told her back two weeks ago or so that the form was still on the Pengarah table, I hope it was just a mistake and prayed so hard it was cos it was just last week the clerk told me it had been sent. She must have messed up with my going out of the country application! Urgh!! Luckily I met the Pengarah just now on the way out and he confirmed that it was still on his table and he was still considering. What the fuck is there to consider? Just sign the damn form and let me out of here! What the fuck with all about having to wait one year then only can sign?! This is all made up by you guys power holder! The Perintah Am said that I could apply out once I am into the 6th month of service at a place! I gave you face and cos of the TPKNF said that she would only consider my transfer after a year, that was why you only saw my form after 10 months of my service k! Just sign the bloody paper and there will be people sent in and I could train them and then by 1 year I would be out without delay! URGH!!! What a waste of my time!! Everyone around me is just incompetent and also inefficient! And LIARS and PRETENDERS too apparently.

I am not a forgiver! So I don't easily forgive and forget! Just because I talked a few more words than usual with you didn't mean that I have forgiven and forgotten you effing backstabbed me k! And don't think that I accepted your treat means I have forgiven you k! It was just cause you insisted and that I didn't have enough small change! I am quite relieved by a lil bit this whole week cos I don't have to see your face through lunch, even the breakfast was hardly bearable! And imagine that I have to be stuck in this hellhole for another few months with you, the Great Pretender, urgh! UNIMAGINABLE!!!

ARGH!! GERAMNYA AKU!!!

DUSH~~

becareful.. you might get caught

Someone's real pissed off with me. Or maybe even up to the point hate?

Yes, I am very very very ultra super kiasu. I don't deny and I openly admit it. Everyone knows it so you don't have to emphasize it. I am not pretending to be clever, cos I am not. Mind you, I am the LOWEST scorer among the Chinese in my course. All I know comes from experience and what I read up on the spot. I am just stating what I know and I have a lot of resources to back up what I say cos this is the way we are trained at UKM. I don't say what I am not sure and I don't like guessing. I don't blab things out and crap unreasonable information. At least I know how to use the NET to look for information before I turn to someone else.

Have I never backed everything I say? Have I not checked things up everytime you say something weird and I wanted to proof what I say is right? You keeping quiet doesn't make me feel that I am smarter, just makes me think that you didn't learn anything at all when you were a PRP at HUKM and also a student from an Apex Uni. I don't talk to the doctor LSLY, I always ALWAYS call the doctor only when I have my FACTS and PROOFS and GUIDELINES ready. I'm only talking lansi in front of you. I NEVER EVER simply ask back the doctor what he thinks have the best efficacy cos it's our job to know and find all the drug information need, if not what's the point are we called the DRUG EXPERT?! I never simply tell the doctor what I am not sure about. And of course I sometimes say it's the practice here cos it will even strengthen what I comment cos the treatment has been done among our populations. And they are all based on experience.

And no, your online banking account is not related to my ass, cos your banking account is not even worthy of my ass, at least I work hard to get this sexy ass, while you may still need your dad to feed you, brat. And for goodness' sake, you are from Selangor, a very developed area in our third world country and you don't even know that your bank or every single bank in the world has ONLINE BANKING nowadays. If not, I don't think there would such things as online shopping. If you don't like my comments that you are a mountain turtle, please don't ask me how to check my salary in the first place, brat! Cos I use my ONLINE BANKING to transfer money to my parents, while yours might be giving you cash manually. And since you don't have ONLINE BANKING, so I bet you never even used ONLINE BANKING to pay your bills before, I think you still need your dad to pay your bills, eh, brat?! Unless you have soooooooooo many leaves left to waste to go to the Maxis centre to pay your bills manually eh.

Seriously, you have a bad temper, if not, you wouldn't be keeping all this bottled up and complaining to your friend after so many hours, right? And yes, of course I am here, even though I am not Ooi. So I guess you need to copy each and every one of the messages and send it to your friend, Ooi so that she/he and everyone else can be updated about my bossiness and lansi-ness.

By the way, I might seem Lansi but then I won't call this Lansi. I just take pride in what I know and my experience and practise them. Haven't you heard that if you survive the one year in HSA, you can survive anywhere in Malaysia?

my job as a scapegoat..

It's true that I am a scapegoat. Not that I am a scapegoat literally, but it's kinda a 'requirement' or burden or even my responsibility or a scope in my job as a drug dealer. Haih.. I never thought that it's one of the requirement when I took this job.

An incident last week made me feel worthless. A TB patient at ward 6 was prescribed with T. Ethambutol 1200mg OD, so I dispensed 21 tabs of 400mg T. Ethambutol for the supply of a week. After 3 days / 3 doses, the envelop came back to me with only 1 tab left in it. Curious, I called the ward to confirm the amount given to the patient, the staff nurse (SN) confirmed that she gave only 3 tabs. So I asked where were the remaining 11 tabs? 3 doses = 9 tabs, so there should be 12 tabs left but where were the other 11 tabs? She said she didn't know and all she saw in the morning when she fed the patient, there were only 4 tabs left. So where were the remaining 1 strip of 10? As T. Ethambutol is in strip packaging. She gave me a lame excuse that maybe the previous shifts nurses dropped it or the patient dropped it himself. Takkan la she brought home to eat? Haha! In the end, without looking for it, I assumed, the Sister called and told me that she has called all her staffs who tended to the patient and they claimed I didn't give 21 tabs, there were only about 11 tabs in there. I stood my ground and said I double-checked and it was 21 tabs. She shot me back by asking how many witnesses there were. Zzz.. Ass.. In the end, I had to relent and supply another 10 tabs cos it was 1 against 3.

This is only one example. There are a lot more. Such as some bitchy relief doctor who thought that she was almighty cos she has some MRCP or whatever extra degree that she could reprimand me when I SUGGESTED her to change the dose for IV Unasyn 1.5g TDS to QID.

Quote "What type of practice do you use here? The practice in my hospital is totally different!! I don't even know what guideline you use here! Whatever la.. you want to change, then just change la!!" Unquote.

And the almighty bitchy doctor prescribed Ranitidine to my colleague who has got allergy all over his body.

There was another female doctor who thought she was some aristocrat and with her head held high she called the pharmacy and asked if the pharmacist was not doing her job? Didn't counter-check? HOW COULD YOU ALLOW CEFTRIAXONE TO BE GIVEN BD DOSING?! Sweat~~ I almost fainted. Felt like asking her to go back to school before she dared to call and ask about me doing my job.

Some of the errors are made during the weekend or public holiday which I am not even working but still I am the one being blamed for what I have not done. Do they expect us to stay there 24/7 screening every prescriptions and counter-checking every single drug dispensed by my staffs?

It's so unfair sometimes, my staffs made the errors, but we, the pharmacists, have to stand in front and take the blame, my staffs gave wrong information, we have to apologize. The doctor made a prescription errors, we missed it, just cause we were not there for a split second, it would be in my account, the SN gave the wrong amount of drugs or the wrong drugs, it would be on us too cos we didn't counter-check! Well, if the doctor accidentally made a mistake and the patient died? No problem.. cos he has the license to kill....

Great power comes great responsibility is all I can say.

super sinful first anniversary..

Yup!! It's already ONE year we are together! Amazing, isn't it? Even I, myself cannot believe I can last this long in a relationship. Well, I am not sure who came up with the trend that couples must give each other a gift on anniversary. If I knew who he/she is, I would want to give that fella a kick in the ass. I think during that one month where I prepared for the BIG day, I lost quite a lot of hair. I got Bubble a Western Digital SATA green 2TB 7200rpm. It was hard to get, I couldn't even find it in Singapore. But hey, lucky me that Bubble has such great friends! I knew this was the one thing that he really really wanted so badly to store his ahem...porn...LOL kidding! His storage just kaboom to the max la. He just needed more space. Luckily it's computer space not privacy space space.

And he bought us tickets to Universal Studio Singapore and a HUGE meal at the only Chili's (tak halal punya) in Singapore!

We chose a day (16 May) which we thought would be less crowded but it turned out to be another crowded-2-hour-waiting-time day. We reached there earlier and the crowd was already big, everyone was queuing up at the entrance and once the gate was opened, the human sea just poured in and those who bought the tickets with MasterCard just rushed to the information counter to redeem the SGD10 gift voucher (only the first 200) which we used to get Jelly Beans (which Bubble didn't tell me that he didn't eat, HMPH!!) and also Skittle!

Once we settled everything, we rushed to the Battlestar Galactica, just to be told it was not opened till later for some maintenance. I was soooo disappointed thinking that they were closed again, both the rides, that I have anticipated for sooo long since last year. Luckily they were opened 30minutes later after our Accelerator (Genting teacup) spin and Revenge of the Mummy roller coaster! The Mummy ride was awesome! And spooky..with sprinkle of water, just no cockroach, lucky! We rode the Human first and it was already 30-minute wait when we reached, the queue just grew longer and longer. The Human was a bit disappointing but the Cylon made it up which was much much more daring and awesome~! The part that I hated was when we were queuing up for the Cylon, there was this man who kept farting and poisoned me 3 times with his awfully smelly fart! And everytime he farted, he just casually sat at the rail and farted, then pulled his shirt down and put on an innocent face. What an ass! Felt like punching him and taught him manners. Just thanked God that he wasn't in the same row as us on the ride or in front. After those rides, I told Bubble that we could leave now as I have already achieved what I wanted.

MUMMMMMMYYYYY~~

yosh! mission accomplished!

it is indeed far far away~

Then we headed to the Far Far Away as the other games that we didn't try were a bit kiddy, just didn't want to waste time. There we lined up the Shrek 4-D Adventure after lunch which was another 45minute wait. It was not a letdown for such a long queue, the only down point was we had to wait under the canopy out in the hot sun with just fans. Oh crap..I sound more and more like a city girl.

FAR FAR AWAY~quite far also

Bubble is a decent man and I am not..cos I am not a man..hoho

USS is kinda small since it fits in the paper

45-minute of queuing can turn a sweet girl into zombie

45minutes of waiting turned Bubble into pig4

After that we just went to shows such as the Waterworld and Madagascar: A Crate Adventure, Monster Rock theater, Lights, Camera, Action! Hosted by Steven Spielberg. We decided not to try the Jurassic Park Rapids Adventure, it was a truly 120minute wait just to get wet. No way!

Madagascar: A Crate Adventure

the entrance

bergaya nya~

the Angel (Bubble) by the yellow cab

the mischievous Devil (Hammie) by the yellow cab

we are at somewhere far far away swept away by my dream

TA-DA~

We had fun till 7pm and then we headed out where we were greeted by the workers who waved us goodbye. It was an awesome day that we completed with a sinful dinner at Chili's just right outside USS! It was the first Chili's I've been to that served pork! Cool!

sinful starters

sinful main

sinful side, yup it's pork rib!

this is 30minutes later

the most sinful dessert that completes the sinful dinner

ahhhh...the satisfying look....can't blame him, his first ice-cream on chocolate molten cake

Thanks Bubble for making another dream come true! xoxo

disappointed with malaysia..helpless..

After 2 encounters with the police, I seriously think that Malaysia is hopeless, helpless and has no future!

This morning, I was rushing to work, which is 40km away from Mersing and I have already timed my journey to reach the KK in time to dispense methadone to those impatient drug addicts, maybe with a few minutes to spare to get ready. But all thanks to a stupid scam by the police, I was held back in a 5-minute interrogation.

The stupid scam goes like this. I was driving past a bridge and the gold Waja in front of me slowed down as I neared and then moved to the road shoulder and half of the car was already one the shoulder so I thought it was either he was stopping at the roadside or letting me overtake him so I did overtake him as he was very slow on a 90kmj road. Right after I overtook him, I noticed a police car hidden at the roadside right after the bridge, it was hidden by the raised bridge and when I glanced through my rearview mirror, I saw the police car moved from his spot and gave me a chase. When he was near, he on his siren and stopped me, it was soooo close to my car that I thought it would bang me if I swerved the wrong side.

He asked for my license and IC and asked if I knew that I overtook a car on the bridge and the driver was a police too. As if I gave a damn who the driver was till it dawned to me much later that it was obviously a scam. I said I overtook him cos he was moving to the side and slowing down so I thought he wanted to stop at the roadside. I said I was late to dispense medicine at Endau, I was from Mersing and working in Hospital Mersing and this is my hospital ID. He asked why he never saw me at the hospital. Err..excuse me knowing that Mersing residents have some lost or burnt fuse in the head, do you think I would still want to stay at the counter? He checked it and my roadtax, then he returned everything to me and said I could go. ZzzZzzZ

What a waste of my time. He made me 5 minutes late and one of the client made a fuss about it. Are all the police like that? It was soo obvious that he wanted me to bribe him as he didn't take any initiative to issue me a summon. I am sooo disappointed with the Malaysia police. Last year too, at the custom, something like that happened too but it was not police but custom officer, still the same, they are the law enforcers but they are the one who corrupt it. Malaysia really has no hope, and what's with the vision 2020? Developed first world country? Never!

something trivial to you but not to me

Last year today marked the first day we went out for a dinner officially just the two of us, as in some nice dinner. Err..maybe 2nd time, first was after the pool. And it was also the day Yuan Hui's baby was born. The first day we went out together, just the two of us, to meet friends. And no, we were not a couple yet and at that time, the idea never crossed our mind either. It was also our last dinner together before you left for Japan. It was also the first day you praised me for having a nice body. And it was the day you brought me to Cupid Restaurant at Permas Jaya. That time both of us were sooooo excited about it, not only that day, we were always excited about everything, everyday, be it we were together, or just talking about plans or on MSN. I still remember the eagerness when you asked me the plan for the weekend for the CC gang, would there be a movie before the CC or not? You were just so eager and excited to chat with me, to ask me about the plans for the weekend or just tomorrow or just later in the evening, but now...

Are you even excited to see me in the weekend? As much as I do? Really, the only thing that gets me through my week is just the thought of seeing you on Friday. When it's already Wednesday, my mood will improve cos 2 more days to go before I get to see you. But have I ever been the catapult for you to get through your hectic day and towards the weekend? Is it because we see each other too frequent? That you are starting to get bored and wanted something new? Something different? Some sparks, perhaps? Some excitement? I long for you eagerness and excitement, to say that you can't wait to see me on Friday or tomorrow or just can't wait to see me. Or that you just miss me or love me without me saying them first. But I saw this same eagerness and excitement I yearn for tonight, but sadly, the person you were eager to hang out with was not me.

You went out with your friends, not that I mind, but till late at night when you have to wake up early in the morning to work the next day? Not that I want to control your rest time or something. But by the time you are free of work, you would be too tired for me. I know I sound very selfish. Would you be out so late with your friends if I was around? Would you bring me to hang out with your friends, like I bring you to hang out with my friends?

Seriously, I really want to know if you are ever excited to see me? Do you think we need time apart to feel the sparks again? I don't think I need cos my feelings and all the excitement I felt before this has never left me or sipped away even a little, perhaps, they just get stronger. But if you need, you can just tell me. I just hate to be a burden or give you the feeling that you have to babysit me every weekend and that you don't have time for yourself and your friends. I am a bit tired of asking you every weekend if you miss me, and like a routine or perhaps, that should be the right answer, that you would answer yes.

You gave up the Penang trip just for you work, what can I say? But you gave up your work just to go KL for MPS AGM and dinner, even if you have to pay more than the Penang trip. It crushed my heart.

Ha...I thought this type of symptoms would only be visible after a long-term relationship? Hmm...perhaps like my brother says, I am always over-dramatic and I just have to be more confident. Haih.. I am a girl afterall, it seems....

emo..

Darling Bubble is sad and depressed about something but I don't know what. This makes me emo cos I don't know what's troubling him. Tried making him spill but he avoided my question. So, it was not because of me, at least a part of me was relieved. But it makes him unhappy and troubling him leh.. even though I couldn't help, just like he told me, at least I could be a listener, if not I could at least give some noob advice or stupid comments that might make your day. Haih.. I have tried to reason with him but to no avail.... Hmmm... Am I not helpful? Maybe at least tell me what's bothering and depressing him, not the whole story, I don't mind if he wants to leave something out, but at least an idea of it, to ease me? Ok, I admit I am kaypo and it makes me feel like I feast on people's distress and unhappiness. Oh, I really want to know but I don't want to push so hard. I want to ease your baggage. I want to share your sadness with you. Everything about you is important to me, everything that makes you sad, happy and neutral is important to me cos I want to be a part of your life and share your sadness, if I could I would love to lift your sadness from you. I wish I am there for you, darling. It just makes me sad to see you sad. I keep telling myself, I shouldn't ask you anymore if you don't want to tell, but I just can't help myself, I am sorry. Everytime I thought of my failure of making you speak your mind, I ask myself what's the point of knowing? If you have already said I couldn't be of any help, so why do I still want to know? What's the point of knowing? Will I be any happier if I know what's bothering you? I kept asking myself over and over again, just to settle and calm my heart. Everything will be fine, just as you say so. Well, darling, just to let you know that I am here ready to be the sponge when you are ready to use me. Cheer up soon!!

singapore cycling expedition!!!

It was a surprise that Kelvin would agree to the idea. Ok la..I half knew he would agree, cos it was one of his favourite activities other than sitting in front of the pc. The other half of me expected him to reject the idea cos it was hard for him to have a rest day as he works 30 days a month. Well, it was a whim, it came to me on Wednesday after work. Why not?! LOL!! And I am glad that the idea popped up..

took the A-B-C-D-E-F-park

this is East Coast Park Area C. I heard about this cycling from Nirvana

this is where we rented our bike. SGD6/hour, buy 1 hour free 1 hour so it's actually SGD3/hour

1st pit stop for us while waiting for the other two to catch up

a break at Bedok Reservoir

seems like she's either peeing or thinking of jumping in..pity those who drink from this reservoir

so cute right!? LOL

this is the bicycle track

this is the walking track..so organized and safe..


2nd pit stop at Tampines, ahh...cooling...

after 4 hours, we reached changi beach, about 20+km later, just right before the heavy downpour

after chillax, our journey continued

Kelvin fails in his acting...

the Changi Airport is just behind me, stretches as long as 8km

this is the map i printed..but this is nothing compares to kelvin's GPS

our dinner at China Town..crowded...nice food

And the froggy feast began..

kong po frog

frog porridge

taukua

vege

fish meat noodle..fishy smell

The route was 42km long but we bypassed Pasir Ris, so it became about 40km or so. The first 20km took us quite some time cos we stopped and took pictures, looking at the map on the road, spying on houses and cars, we passed by lots of landed properties, we even had to push out bike across 3 overhead bridges, 2 with slopes, 1 with stairs but conveniently there was a small longkang by the stairs meant for people to push their bike up. This is what we called understanding and convenience! LOL!! Singapore is sooooo organized, just the way I like to live. We took a break by the Changi Beach, cos the sunset there was pretty but too bad for the heavy downpour, so we just got to see people parasailing without the boat, with just the wind, A-W-E-S-O-M-E!!! And also caught a few glimpses of really fair guys that made CCC drooled all over Richard..hohoho..

Then, we started on our 2nd lap of biking after the rain stopped and also the couple next to our table at the bistro complained that we were noisy. LOL!! Well, that's common wherever I am. The 2nd lap was about 18-20km too. But Kelvin and I managed to finish them within 2 hours while the other two took 3 hours. They were amazed that we still have so much energy in us. Well, this was the love energy I replied! LOL!! We passed by watersports like water skiing but without motorboat, just pulled by rails overhead..it was cool!! I would love to try it someday!! Kelvin was also amazed that I could match up with his speed and the distance of 40km. ZzzZZzZZ...please don't look down on me. I love activities that don't involve my legs to have direct contact with the ground...And I was the one who ask you to go, don't forget that..

Well, Bubble, thanks again for realizing this dream of mine.. I can't wait for the 20 WCPCN!!!