cancer..

My mom informed me that my uncle was admitted to the hospital yesterday. They believed this would be his last battle and that he couldn't last till Chinese New Year. That was one sad thing to hear early this morning. But I am grateful that I made the trip back last week to visit him, which I have to accept that it might be our last. He looked alert for a cancer patient, I have to say. However, as a healthcare professional, I could tell that the cancer was eating him inside and I dare say the cancer is the culprit if he couldn't make it to CNY, not his mind.

He has been a great and supportive uncle who kept on pushing me to take on the profession I am in now, even when I wasn't clear what I wanted, but he just knew it that this would be a bright future for me. And indeed it is. However, I do regret I couldn't help him or save him with my knowledge. I will miss him dearly and his HUGE red packets too. I am really grateful to God to be given a last chance to visit him and treat him a good meal to appreciate him for what he has done for me. I really hope that he survives and gets through to CNY.

I am lucky to have this opportunity to see my uncle one final time and say a proper goodbye compared to those who lost their loved ones to sudden death. Last week, my friend just lost her dear husband to a tragic accident. He was one loving husband and doting father of 2 young beautiful daughters. It was just too sudden that actually till now I still couldn't accept the fact that he is no longer in this world. The news was so abstract to me. It was just like yesterday I was sitting next to my dear friend whispering about her husband's interview and about my love life and my new house. I do regret of not making it to pay my final respect to him. If I, an outsider, am not able to accept the news, then it must be even harder for my friend and her family. I really wish her well and stay strong for her kids and family just as she has always been strong to me and everyone around her. But as a human with flesh and bones, I still hope that she allows herself to succumb to her pain and when it is time for her to climb back from the abyss, she would come back strong and steady.

Life and death is (to me, they are together) just too unpredictable and even money cannot save a dying person. I have to learn to appreciate and love every moment I have with my loved ones.