my hope..smashed, crushed into powder

ARGH!! MASS DISLIKES!!! Geramnya aku!!! The fucking clerk at the admin told me last week that Pengarah had signed my transfer application form and it had been sent out long time ago. I confirmed it twice and she said yes! Then today when Azizah told me that the clerk told her back two weeks ago or so that the form was still on the Pengarah table, I hope it was just a mistake and prayed so hard it was cos it was just last week the clerk told me it had been sent. She must have messed up with my going out of the country application! Urgh!! Luckily I met the Pengarah just now on the way out and he confirmed that it was still on his table and he was still considering. What the fuck is there to consider? Just sign the damn form and let me out of here! What the fuck with all about having to wait one year then only can sign?! This is all made up by you guys power holder! The Perintah Am said that I could apply out once I am into the 6th month of service at a place! I gave you face and cos of the TPKNF said that she would only consider my transfer after a year, that was why you only saw my form after 10 months of my service k! Just sign the bloody paper and there will be people sent in and I could train them and then by 1 year I would be out without delay! URGH!!! What a waste of my time!! Everyone around me is just incompetent and also inefficient! And LIARS and PRETENDERS too apparently.

I am not a forgiver! So I don't easily forgive and forget! Just because I talked a few more words than usual with you didn't mean that I have forgiven and forgotten you effing backstabbed me k! And don't think that I accepted your treat means I have forgiven you k! It was just cause you insisted and that I didn't have enough small change! I am quite relieved by a lil bit this whole week cos I don't have to see your face through lunch, even the breakfast was hardly bearable! And imagine that I have to be stuck in this hellhole for another few months with you, the Great Pretender, urgh! UNIMAGINABLE!!!

ARGH!! GERAMNYA AKU!!!

DUSH~~