stronger

I need to be stronger in order to stop hurting myself. It hurt so bad that it bled. I should have said no when I did not want to do it. Blame it all on me, I easily succumbed to temptation. I should have pulled back when it started to hurt. And when I saw the blood, I started yelping and jumping, so unlady of me. I wanted to scream profanities but I was not in the right situation so all I did was jumped to the sink and washed off the blood. Bloody, it just could not stop. It even feels swollen a bit now. I just didn't know how my mom did it but I really saluted her. I want to be like her, to be able show off in front of my kids later, that even a lady can do it! I just want to be stronger so that I can force open the durian and feast on it!