too into it

I have to admit that I am an emotional crybaby, that I am very serious about a lot of things that I care with all my heart till it hurts so deeply, I weep. With so much care invested, I expect a lot more gained, but this is not the way of life. I find that I care too much, especially friendship, that I have failed to appreciate myself, letting myself to be degraded in this way cannot be forgiven! Totally. I have been warned to watch myself, to hold myself back, never ever let myself to be hurt but I still never listen because I find that every friend, even a minor, means a lot to me and each stands a place in my heart, equally! That's why, no matter what happen, I will never push anyone away, I will stay by their side, even if they find me annoying cos I have tasted the taste of loneliness, of standing by the side watching as others' lives go by. I have always held onto the motto, "not to treat people the way you never want to be treated, treat people the way you want to be treated". That's why I am easily hurt by things said by others that I never would have said to them as I thought it would hurt them as well. Perhaps, I am too harsh on myself, leading a life full of mottos, of rules created by myself. But I am sure, if a good friend or at least you feel so, asked you to leave the vicinity with no apparent reason, when you are ready to share something or lost, you might feel hurt as well. Or maybe not. Perhaps, I am the only one thinking this way. Maybe I take every word too seriously, when it means nothing to them at all? Or maybe, they know I will stay or come back to them, no matter what they say or do. Maybe it is indeed time for me to realize that I am worth more than that. I should stop chasing, stop staying, stop taking everything by heart but start to let go, to hold back, to take things lightly, to appreciate myself and being appreciated. It's a new thing to learn all over again but it's something I am ready to embrace.