trust?

I thought I could trust those whom I trust. I have my own reasons not to tell everyone about the relationship. One is I respect Kelvin's decision for not telling anyone yet, though I have told those I am close with, those I thought I could trust. But somehow...trust...what is trust? Trust, trust, trust, trust...the more I repeat, the vaguer it becomes. I thought Yuan Hui could be trusted, so I chose to tell her when we were in Melaka. But she let it out on FB about me being in a relationship. I have told her not to breathe a word. I thought she could be trusted when the others were pestering her, she didn't tell. But why did she tell in FB? Such a public site. Even Yee Chiun 'betrayed' me. I told her to keep it a secret first, and she told TS about it. I could tell him myself, please. Thanks for your kindness. Ok, I am fine. What has been done, cannot be undone. Next would be Grace. I thought she was another one I could trust. But.. it seems NOT! Last week, I sms-ed her about how lucky she was, to be with Andy 24/7, so she didn't feel what I felt. If Andy were gone for 3 months with no way to contact him and all she could do was just waiting by the phone for him to contact her, then she would know how I felt. She should appreciate what they have. It was just a simple message with an underlying message hinting about me and Kelvin. And guess what! She actually showed everyone at the table about it today!! I was MAD, of course. But I had my temper checked and I was cool. It's my privacy and she violated it!

Well, it is solely my problem whether I want to announce my relationship or not, right?!! It's not like the world is going to end, if I don't announce it. Please don't pester me anymore. Even if it was not Kelvin's wish, after a few thoughts I would like to keep it low awhile too. Like mom's wish, not to jinx it! Seriously!! FUCK OFF, people!! Please..when I am ready to tell, I would. Sob..maybe it's not their fault, it's totally my fault that it has all become this way. Perhaps, I am the one desperately wanting to share the good news and at the same time, trying to keep it low. I seriously don't know.. and I am fucking DOWN right now! Emo.. Plus me missing Kelvin. This is already the second week, I hope my helplessness and hopelessness would wear off soon. It was just like when I was in Form3, it took me 2 weeks to stop crying missing home. This time, everything should stop by end of this week. What drugs did he give me to get me hooked for so long?!