I can hardly believe that I am already 21 years old. I mean, I have been alive for 2 decades. It may not sound a lot to you but it does sound a lot to me. Now, I sound like an old hag. LoLz.. 2 decades are a lot, no? Along the way, there are bumps, upward slopes and downward slopes that sometimes need me to pull the handbrake in order not to roll backward or downward, then there are times when I need to charge forward down the hill without thinking or maybe let myself have a free fall. Not to mention that sometimes, I even have some monotonous straight highway. Sometimes, when I meet bumps on the road, I find myself thinking, why am I still here? There was once, I really thought of suiciding. That was the evilest thought I ever had. The thought of ending my life was metallic cold. Bringing the knife onto my wrist, slicing it through, it gave me calmness yet at the same time giving me an icy feeling that I can't quite put my finger on. I was in this state for 2 days and I couldn't bring myself to reach out to anyone as I find that what I was confronting and having the suicidal thought over was laughable. For 2 nights straight, I prayed to God, that Judgment Day would be the next day or that the whole world would go back to Ice Age. I know I know, I am selfish to be ever thinking about it. And 2 days later, I snapped out of the trance and charge forward, this is the one time, when I really stepped on the brake and stopped on the bump before the bottom of the car scraped the highest bump I have crossed as I have been driving recklessly fast.
Oh well, Life is like that after all. If there are no bumps, holes, hills, highways, how can we move forward, my Life will be boringly colourless.
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