i must change..

I have been telling myself that for ages and been writing about changing quite a few times..I should be ashamed of myself as I didn't do what I promised myself. Especially when I am always commenting on people not keeping their promises and sulking at it. I should sulk at myself! Hmph!!

Now, why this post? Today I had lunch-call at OPD and the amount of patients was unmeasurable. I am deadly serious here. The waiting time was LONG and mine was up to 74minutes. WALAO!! The patients being impatient as they were kept coming to my counter demanding about their drugs and those who missed their number actually made a bee-line in front of my counter. There was a point where I accidentally pressed the next number while I was dispensing for another patient so the patients actually crowded at my counter-the current patient, the next-number patient, the previous-number patients. And being the KIASU Chinese, no one wanted to leave and stood in front of my counter either chatting or tapping the counter-top or staring at me giving me pressure. Dah la the bakul came out ever soooooo slowly, the patients pula sooooo impatient so in the end I gave myself pressure and my temper flared! There was a patient who banged into my counter so suddenly and demanding for her missed medications and wtf counseling was needed for her oral spray medication which I had no idea how to do. So, I turned around and demanded who wanted to do counseling so sharply that I startled everyone nearby. I just couldn't understand why no one wanted to do counseling this time around, when I was in OPD last time, I actually grabbed every chance I got to do counseling..practically jumped at it!

Aside from that, Ho always commented that I was very garang with the SN. Well, they seriously pissed me off. Came to take DD but didn't bring key, how the hell to open the bloody DD box? Then dah la didn't bring the key, didn't inform me earlier, always made me walk twice into the DD room to get the key. And they just loved to indent on other days other than Monday and Thursday to increase my workload. Not only that, they always called to ask if they could indent (as if I could say NO) knowing fully well that they shouldn't and then asked me how to do it..and I have to keep repeating about writing formal letter and they always ALWAYS turned up either with a crappy formal letter or none at all. So, I just told them what was the correct way sternly and Ho said I was ganas.. And I always defended myself that I was not ganas just a bit stricter and serious or tegas. LOL..defending ha...hmmm..

Since I am doing DD for the week, I have to dispense methadone to the patients in the ward. And damn do I hate it!? A bit la.. I have to walk damn far to the TIBI ward where I am risking my life and then have to be on time pulak.. Then the patient kept complaining that he has chill and the dose not enough etc. There was this patient who actually scolded 'babi' when I was late only for 15minutes. For god's sake..there are like only 3 PRPs in ward supply and he thought he was my only methadone patient. He ordered me to go at 4pm and then now ordered me to go at 3.30pm and he was the one who asked me to try my best and 15minutes later was the best I could do. And he hissed 'babi', the nurses nearby heard it and I just pretended not to hear him.. selamba.. Maybe I should miss a day..

Urgh~ I really have a bad temper.. I always tell myself I should change..I must..hmm.... maybe I should change now..no one would like a bad-temper girl. Patience patience patience deep breath deep breath patience patience..(daily mantra from now on). LOL!!