Oh, how I want a pair of wings so much. To fly away from this life, from this world, from this universe(then I would be suffocating in the outer space). Or the power of a Jumper, to jump to different places with just a blink of eyes and an imagination. Oh..how I wish..just for the sake of running away from the pathetic life I am leading. Yes, currently I do feel my life sucks as everything is stuck and immobile clogging my life and suffocating it. I do hope it gets better faster and stops suffering me. But I just have a notion that it is going to stay for a long time this time unless I stand my ground and with resolve, shove it away.
Too many things assault my mind at once and I do not know how to handle them suddenly and only know how to succumb to the realm of tears. It seems that I am getting weaker. Feeling that I am a loser and a failure as a female, a friend, a leader and a human. I really wish for a pair of wings to carry me around, to shield me from harm, to cover me when I am cold, to fan me when it is warm, to fly me when I am too tired to move a limb and even be my bed when I am looking for a comfort or a shoulder when I need a real strong one to unburden the pool of tears.
For now, I can see a clear gargantuan L stamped on my forehead telling people what and who I am, warning them to stay away, as far as possible. It is not uncommon to see friends, especially males avoiding me. I think I am too wild and this means I am the biggest loser as a female. I just need someone who understands me, badly! It is probably too hard, as even I don't know what I, myself, want. I am in depression again, this time I really need to get out of here, indulge in ice-creams, chocolates and lovely food!! After all, I haven't really had solid food for days as my appetite goes off with my mood. LoLz..
Well, the almanac does hold some truth when it says that the tiger this year is going to have a depressed year. And I am making it true!
No comments:
Post a Comment