To me, I am more of an innovator who loves to start something especially mean things as I am always the first(just my opinion) to bring and teach people to be mean, more like I love to show people my mean side to cover up the other side of me. Or maybe to satisfy the playful me. But after thinking over and over again, I find that what I have done all the time isn't fully my own idea at all. I am kinda being fed or brainwashed or hinted by people with ideas and then I make it my own. And when I breathe it out, I am asked suck it back as it is a BIG mean hurtful thing especially it is done by me. I find that I am too naive till the point that I absorb and digest every single thing people say and suggest that I actually do what makes me look like the devil. Sometimes, I find myself stupid and naive and childish to think that I will be accepted, amiable and 'trustworthy' enough to be told something that is not out-dated if I agree and breathe out what others have said. Tsk-tsk!!
Oh..I am so so so pissed off with myself. I am no innovator at all after all, just a pathetic obedient pup...Pathetic!
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