Thursday, May 8, 2008

the verdict...

I was heading to the bus stop when the thought of me being a bimbo occurred to me. I thought about myself as usual, thinking about what I have done, what I am doing and stuffs like that. I was looking for a word to describe myself and the word 'bimbo' just jumped out to me. I was saddened by the fact that I know nothing about anything.

I just dropped my CPU at the computer shop downstairs to be repaired. As I have ranted before, my PC was in war with me. Somehow, when the technician connected my CPU to his computer, it worked. It just worked. Mouth ajar, I said it was just weird and there seemed to be nothing wrong at all. Anyway, the technician enticed (his intention was good) me into joining their shop membership with cheaper price for the service and certain goods. The service was RM30 but by paying RM10 to be the member, I could get a 20% off and I only need to pay RM10 for the service. I counted and counted and counted, I just couldn't get the calculation right. Anyway, I left it since the guy didn't even care to explain.

Then, on the way to board the bus, I asked myself what I was doing while making mental notes what to get and what to hunt. I accumulated a rough amount I planned to spend. Oh, crap.. In just two hours, I spent a total of RM200 on facial products, lingerie and reload. Adding to the list of sins, I had iced latte and chicken pie. Shyte! I am so doomed! Mom gave me RM500 to cover my trip to Redang and the rent for this month but I spent it all on unnecessary stuffs. God! I feel so guilty. Maybe you find the facial products-cleanser, a mask, pore refining emulsion and blackhead remover-are necessary but I find that I could do without them. I was not like this, I mean I was not the type who spends a lot on my face or my look other than the size of my body which can be handled by priceless swimming. I am not used to wasting time in front of the mirror applying layers after layers of cream or serum or colours. I didn't use mirror throughout primary, secondary and matriculation except for 2 secs to make sure I was presentable. I remember not using comb before, just running my fingers through and then walked out confidently but now I needed about 5 minutes each to apply wax on my hair and some tea tree ointment or whatever on my face (and walk out with lesser confidence). Now, the bra, I found that I could do without an extra one as well. I should have spent on the formal wear instead. *sigh* And the reload...it was all my fault.

In the end, I have overspent. I could have run back home with just the cleanser (my priority) and nothing else. But temptation got the better of me, 2.30pm was coffee time. I felt really guilty for spending so much money. I know, I don't seem to be the person who cares how much I spend. Gosh! I wish I could tell everyone that I was actually hiding beneath a mask. I keep thinking that if I show the stingy me or too calculative, people will stay away. My childish thinking again. I just don't know when I started evolving. I could feel the change slowly, little by little, very subtly, like it was changing itself without my consciousness. Urgh! I feel bad.. I need to revert back to the old me. I have to. Or else, even the pay of RM5000 cannot cover my lifestyle. SHYTE! *slap slap*

*rubbing my flaming cheeks* Seriously, I can feel that I am turning into a bimbo or I have been a bimbo (whatever!) minus the big boobs (mine are just nice) and awesome bod (mine is satisfactory). I find that I have no brain at all, no knowledge of anything whatsoever (yeah, I failed my exams, don't care about the world) and all I know is just how to spend money and of course, rant and curse and daydream and fantasize. Even a bimbo knows how to beautify herself. Urgh! Somebody, tell me if I am a bimbo???

The verdict: guilty as charged

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