dream..

Not checking the results and keep thinking that I'd come to it later or before class starts do haunt me, don't they? I have dreams (or nightmares) few nights in a row. Now that's something. Last night, I have this dream about someone (a pharmacist I assumed) questioning me about my legibility on dispensing right or something about drugs, more like she was looking down on my knowledge. I was pissed off and smacked the table and said I had the right to comment what she did as I saw fit as I was a pharmacist too. Their eyes questioned me. So, I corrected future pharmacist and I knew my stuff (in fact, my brain was a bit blank). That statement seemed so vague and farfetched to me.. She gave me a is-that-all-you-have-and-going-to-do look. Then, not satisfied, I stammered what I plan after my degree. I S-T-A-M-M-E-R-E-D?! Now, that has never happened to me before. I don't stammer. I give straight answers. Have I lost my confidence in my future, in my plan? I thought I have mapped it out well and stood my ground when people asked me. Just because I am running away from the results? God! Where has my dream of being a creator (take note not Creator) gone? Have I replaced it with something else? I don't deny I am thinking of doing Psycho. But still.. I have lost the confidence in myself. That's just like I am giving up.