guilt-ridden..

I am still feeling guilty. Why? I killed my brother. Yes, I murdered him. He was so innocent, didn't know anything, so fair, so cute and didn't even know how to tame a pet or ride a mount. And yet I killed him. I can't believe myself actually leading an assassin to him. Not to mention that I plotted the whole thing too. He was so innocent and trusting me to reveal his spot. I tracked him down and stood right in front of him. He even greeted and asked who I wanted to kill. I didn't answer him. He came so near and I struck. I even used a rank 2 soul chip on him to increase the attack.

Before I struck, a feeling of dread came over me and my fingers went cold and numb. I kept asking myself if I was doing the right thing. It was so much fun tracking him down wanting to murder him but when I met him, I got cold feet. But still, I struck when he was so defenseless. And then I felt bad when he crumbled before me. He didn't even get the chance to strike back as he was not in the killing mode.

After the whole thing, I felt guilty and started to teach him how to tame the pet and ride a mount to decrease my level of guilt. I can't believe how other 'PKers' can kill others so easily. This is just a game and I already felt so bad like I did a real crime. I wonder how real murderers feel like when they strike innocent victims.