fairy tales...

My mind just loves to stray when I'm trying to face the notes seriously. A song from 'Enchanted' keeps playing in my head, making me dizzy. The one to call the animals. From there, my imagination moves to the other fairy tales analyzing them. And I realized that most (if my memory is not deceiving me) of the characters never say the three magical words 'I Love You' to each other. The common thing they have is the characters don't know each other, always fall in love at first sight, get married and live happily ever after. Oh, not to forget that they always kiss in the end, don't they? After checking high and low, I found that Belle does say the three magical words to the Beast. Now, Aerial in 'The Little Mermaid' has met her prince before; Rapunzel has met hers before and it hurts her, her head I mean (even though she didn't say it, lol..); a prince has only heard Snow White's voice and that's like all. And they still fall in love at first sight or voice! Besides, the princesses just love to fall into deep slumber and be kissed by the princes. This is just like teaching the kids to judge a book by its cover and also to close your eyes and you will find the One. They also teach the girls how to tell the one you love that you love him. Here are some examples:

Cinderella
Leave your glass shoe by 12am at his doorsteps. And make sure that the shoe is either extremely small or large. Since it's so difficult to find someone as big as Yao Ming to match your size 12 shoe, then you might want to start binding your feet since neonate to keep it at size 3 the max.

Snow White
Try to be the fairest of the fairest but not till your stepmom knows about it unless you want to have a taste of the glossy mirror red apple dipped into warfarin-it's a rodenticide (there are so many rodents in the underground where the stepmom cooks a pot). Oh wait, You have to eat the poisonous apple in order to meet your prince and also 7 dwarves plus a glass casket.

Sleeping Beauty
Go get an old spindle and prick yourself, fall into a deep slumber of 100 years (by 2108, if you sleep now, you will meet him). And of course, keep a dragon by your castle.

The Little Mermaid
Make sure you have at least Kelly Clarkson's voice to exchange for a pair of legs. And ask for a pair of Veet-ed legs for that voice. If you still want to get a pair of legs with Yann Jie's voice, please be settled with a pair of hairy elephant's legs (not his face though cos you will scare even the ugliest pauper away!). Look on the bright side, you need to walk a long way before you meet your Prince.

Beauty and The Beast
Now, this is what I call don't judge a book by its cover. But at the same time I am not telling the girls to find the ugliest beast, I mean man, on earth cos no matter how many zillion litres of tears you shed or 'I love you's you say, they won't turn into a beautiful prince. Love, this is a real world! Oppss..does it hurt? Oh, and you will need a magical rose that can float in midair which the petals you can't pluck to count whether he likes you or he likes you not.

Rapunzel
This is at least something we can try; she is a commoner, I don't think I have any blue-blooded readers. My advice is do not, I repeat DO NOT, cut your hair once out of your mommy's womb. I think by the age of 30 or so, your hair will be long enough for 2 floors. And make sure you wash your hair with DOVE every day (so far, DOVE has the most delicious fragrance I have smelled so far). Maybe you don't want to keep your hair smooth cos it might be difficult for him to climb. And you need, if not KLCC, at least 2-floor buildings to go with it, doorless and with thorn bushes at the bottom. And remember this, safe sex, please!

By the way, all the falling-in-love-at-first-sight scenes happen in the jungle which is abundant in our country minus the mosquitoes. Lucky? Maybe they are trying to tell the kids to love nature and be good to the animals and you will find your prince on white horse when you are halfway trying your best to talk to the animals which do not understand a word you speak in real world. I can't imagine it, gonna look stupid. Maybe you can try with the dog or the parrot.

Almost all the fairy tales are about princes and princesses. This is corruption! Lol.. No wonder since young, I have been dreaming and hoping that I was actually a blue-blooded or rich but with no wicked stepmom and siblings. And also falling in love at first sight, receiving first kiss in deep sleep and that someday my prince will ride by on a white horse sweeping me off to his castle. Is this bad? Why must it always be at the prince's castle? Are they telling us to leave our old parents by themselves? Actually all these fairy tales are shown indirectly in 'Enchanted' if you notice. Trust me when I say I am not against the fairy tales, in fear that I will evoke wrath in the fairy godmothers and they don't leave me a prince on white horse, in fact I love them for corrupting my childish mind. No offense to those no.1 fans out there.